December 11, 2025
As you are reading this article, you are at a milestone moment: two weeks until Christmas. Leaders and their followers are coming up fast on the Holiday season. Many educational organizations will start the break next week, and many for-profits and non-profits may be in the “office “until early the following week. One thing is for sure: in most organizations, there will be a moment of celebration and maybe some shared reflection. There may be presents and festivities, and a bonus that finances Christmas, as Clark Griswold did in the 1989 movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. All well and good, yet only part of what followers really want from their leaders. It is not presents; it is presence. It doesn’t require wrapping, a gift bag, or a Starbucks card. The most valuable present a leader can offer our teams during the holiday season and throughout the year is their genuine presence.
Article content
Leaders who choose to practice leadership presence give their followers what they are starving for right now, amid holiday celebrations and festivities: L.A.F.F.S. Here, I don’t mean a comedy routine; I recommend leadership presence that considers the basic needs of all in the organization at this time and beyond.
One of my early mentors, Dr. William Glasser, often taught that we all have basic needs: L. Love and belonging, A. acknowledgement, and achievement, F. fun and freedom, and S. safety. A leader’s awareness of and practice of considering L.A.F.F.S., together, create cultures of connection, engagement, and fulfillment rather than exhaustion and disengagement. This Thursday’s Leadership Insight is the second part of a series on leadership presence. This article encourages all leaders to expand their presence by considering L.A.F.F.S. in the holiday season and beyond. The current state of the workforce is described, highlighting the need for a much-needed focus on L.A.F.F.S. L.A.F.F.S. will be defined. Different leadership experts’ insights will be shared, along with a six-step strategy for practicing L.A.F.F.S., and some closing thoughts from Jimmy Valvano’s famous ESPY Awards speech.
Today’s workforce is stretched, anxious, and discerning. Hybrid work, economic uncertainty, and rising expectations for flexibility and meaning have led people to no longer be content to trade well-being for a paycheck. Gen Z and younger millennials, in particular, are not rejecting work but rejecting workaholism, and they are demanding leaders who understand their context, invest in them, and lead with empathy and purpose. Dr. Tim Elmore, in his newly released book The Future Begins with Z, notes that Gen Z needs leaders to be listeners, coaches, and to change their mindset. When leaders show up grounded, emotionally intelligent, and practice presence, they become a stabilizing force in this turbulence, anchoring people in connection, clarity, and hope.
“People don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.”
Theodore Roosevelt
A leader wanting to expand their leadership presence can choose to use L.A.F.F.S. as a simple daily checklist for leadership presence:
L – Love & Belonging: People want to know they matter as human beings, not just as headcount, and that they are part of a “we,” not a collection of isolated “me’s.” Theodore Roosevelt’s insight exemplified this need: “People don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.”
A – Acknowledgement & Achievement: Followers long to have their contributions seen, named, and linked to meaningful progress; recognition fuels the belief, “My work counts here.”
F – Fun: Healthy joy, appropriate humor, and moments of lightness release stress and keep teams resilient. Jimmy Valvano’s famous challenge—to laugh, think, and be moved to tears every day- captures how a full emotional life is part of a full day and a full career.
F – Freedom: People want autonomy within clear guardrails set by leadership over how they contribute, experiment, and grow, rather than being micromanaged.
S – Safety: Psychological safety and physical/emotional security allow people to speak up, take risks, and tell the truth without fear of punishment, which Brené Brown’s and Amy Edmunson’s research identifies as the foundation for innovation and courageous work.
When leaders intentionally cultivate L.A.F.F.S., they turn presence from “showing up in the room” into “showing up for people,” building a culture where connection and contribution are woven together.
Presence is demonstrated by empathy and emotional intelligence.
Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, has become a living case study in presence that centers people. He has argued that empathy is the key leadership capability, calling it both his personal passion and the engine of innovation. He insists that empathy must sit at the center of everything from products to markets to relationships. That is leadership presence defined in two words: courageous empathy, seeing and feeling with people, then acting on what you see.
Emotional intelligence gives empathy structure. Daniel Goleman describes emotional intelligence as the capacity to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others, highlighting domains such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management as central to effective leadership. When leaders grow EI, they enhance their leadership presence. They regulate their own anxiety, read the emotional climate accurately, and choose responses that create safety rather than fear, belonging rather than blame, and clarity rather than confusion.
John Maxwell has consistently taught that leadership rises and falls on relationships and influence, not position, echoing the truth that care and connection earn the right to lead. Tim Elmore’s work with Gen Z shows that young employees stay loyal to leaders who invest in them personally and relationally, and that they respond best to guides and coaches rather than command‑and‑control managers.
Brené Brown’s research on brave and grounded leadership shows that vulnerability and courage are inseparable, and that leaders who foster belonging and psychological safety unlock higher levels of trust, innovation, and performance. Together, these voices reinforce a single idea: leadership presence today is not about being the hero at the front, but about creating a presence that creates the conditions for others to be at their best.That presence is demonstrated through L.A.F.F.S.’s culture.
Six ways to create L.A.F.F.S. with your presence
Here are six practical, repeatable moves leaders can make in this season and beyond:
- Lead with consistent, caring check-ins (Love & Safety)
· Start one‑on‑ones and team meetings with brief personal Check-ins: “How are you really doing?” and listen without rushing to fix.
· Use Roosevelt’s principle, demonstrate care first by remembering details about people’s lives and following up, signaling that they are more than their role.
- Practice “catch them doing it right” feedback (Acknowledgement & Achievement)
· Give specific, timely recognition that links effort to impact: “Here’s what you did, here’s the difference it made.”
· Build simple rhythms, weekly shout-outs, short emails, or huddles, so acknowledgement is a norm, not an exception, especially for often‑overlooked roles.
- Design small moments of joy into the workweek (Fun & Belonging)
· Integrate Jimmy Valvano’s “laugh, think, cry” pattern by allowing space for appropriate humor, reflective questions, and honest emotion in team spaces.
· Rotate light, values-aligned rituals, celebration moments, team gratitude rounds, and short story sharing that remind people they are human beings working with other humans, not machines.
- Shift from controller to coach (Freedom & Growth)
· Take Tim Elmore’s cue with younger workers: provide clear outcomes, give people room to choose their path, ask good questions, and invite them to own the solutions.
· Replace some directives with coaching conversations that start with, “What do you see? What options are you considering? How can I support?” to build confidence and capability.Remember to connect before you direct.
- Model vulnerability with boundaries (Safety & Love)
· Following Brené Brown’s work, share appropriate struggles, lessons learned, and “I don’t know yet, but here’s what we’re trying,” to normalize imperfection and learning.
· When mistakes happen, yours or the team’s, respond with curiosity before judgment, turning errors into learning labs rather than fear factories.
- Anchor decisions in empathy and clarity (All of L.A.F.F.S.)sevelt A leader wanting to expand their leadership presence can choose to use L.A.F.F.S. as a simple daily checklist for leadership presence:
L – Love & Belonging: People want to know they matter as human beings, not just as headcount, and that they are part of a “we,” not a collection of isolated “me’s.” Theodore Roosevelt’s insight exemplified this need: “People don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.”
A – Acknowledgement & Achievement: Followers long to have their contributions seen, named, and linked to meaningful progress; recognition fuels the belief, “My work counts here.”
F – Fun: Healthy joy, appropriate humor, and moments of lightness release stress and keep teams resilient. Jimmy Valvano’s famous challenge—to laugh, think, and be moved to tears every day- captures how a full emotional life is part of a full day and a full career.
F – Freedom: People want autonomy within clear guardrails set by leadership over how they contribute, experiment, and grow, rather than being micromanaged.
S – Safety: Psychological safety and physical/emotional security allow people to speak up, take risks, and tell the truth without fear of punishment, which Brené Brown’s and Amy Edmunson’s research identifies as the foundation for innovation and courageous work.
When leaders intentionally cultivate L.A.F.F.S., they turn presence from “showing up in the room” into “showing up for people,” building a culture where connection and contribution are woven together.
Presence is demonstrated by empathy and emotional intelligence.
Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, has become a living case study in presence that centers people. He has argued that empathy is the key leadership capability, calling it both his personal passion and the engine of innovation. He insists that empathy must sit at the center of everything from products to markets to relationships. That is leadership presence defined in two words: courageous empathy, seeing and feeling with people, then acting on what you see.
Emotional intelligence gives empathy structure. Daniel Goleman describes emotional intelligence as the capacity to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others, highlighting domains such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management as central to effective leadership. When leaders grow EI, they enhance their leadership presence. They regulate their own anxiety, read the emotional climate accurately, and choose responses that create safety rather than fear, belonging rather than blame, and clarity rather than confusion.
John Maxwell has consistently taught that leadership rises and falls on relationships and influence, not position, echoing the truth that care and connection earn the right to lead. Tim Elmore’s work with Gen Z shows that young employees stay loyal to leaders who invest in them personally and relationally, and that they respond best to guides and coaches rather than command‑and‑control managers.
Brené Brown’s research on brave and grounded leadership shows that vulnerability and courage are inseparable, and that leaders who foster belonging and psychological safety unlock higher levels of trust, innovation, and performance. Together, these voices reinforce a single idea: leadership presence today is not about being the hero at the front, but about creating a presence that creates the conditions for others to be at their best.That presence is demonstrated through L.A.F.F.S.’s culture.
Six ways to create L.A.F.F.S. with your presence
Here are six practical, repeatable moves leaders can make in this season and beyond:
- Lead with consistent, caring check-ins (Love & Safety)
· Start one‑on‑ones and team meetings with brief personal Check-ins: “How are you really doing?” and listen without rushing to fix.
· Use Roosevelt’s principle, demonstrate care first by remembering details about people’s lives and following up, signaling that they are more than their role.
- Practice “catch them doing it right” feedback (Acknowledgement & Achievement)
· Give specific, timely recognition that links effort to impact: “Here’s what you did, here’s the difference it made.”
· Build simple rhythms, weekly shout-outs, short emails, or huddles, so acknowledgement is a norm, not an exception, especially for often‑overlooked roles.
- Design small moments of joy into the workweek (Fun & Belonging)
· Integrate Jimmy Valvano’s “laugh, think, cry” pattern by allowing space for appropriate humor, reflective questions, and honest emotion in team spaces.
· Rotate light, values-aligned rituals, celebration moments, team gratitude rounds, and short story sharing that remind people they are human beings working with other humans, not machines.
- Shift from controller to coach (Freedom & Growth)
· Take Tim Elmore’s cue with younger workers: provide clear outcomes, give people room to choose their path, ask good questions, and invite them to own the solutions.
· Replace some directives with coaching conversations that start with, “What do you see? What options are you considering? How can I support?” to build confidence and capability.Remember to connect before you direct.
- Model vulnerability with boundaries (Safety & Love)
· Following Brené Brown’s work, share appropriate struggles, lessons learned, and “I don’t know yet, but here’s what we’re trying,” to normalize imperfection and learning.
· When mistakes happen, yours or the team’s, respond with curiosity before judgment, turning errors into learning labs rather than fear factories.
- Anchor decisions in empathy and clarity (All of L.A.F.F.S.)
· Take Satya Nadella’s approach: ask, “Whose experience am I not seeing?” before making significant decisions, and communicate the “why” behind choices to reduce anxiety and build trust.
· Use emotionally intelligent self-management—pausing, naming your own emotions, and choosing your response—to ensure your presence brings calm, not chaos, especially in moments of change.
When leaders show up this way, grounded in empathy, fueled by emotional intelligence, and committed to L.A.F.F.S., they create cultures where love and belonging, acknowledgement and achievement, fun, freedom, and safety are not perks but the norm. That presence builds bridges from disengagement to engagement and from survival to deep fulfillment for everyone in the organization.
The other night, I saw and experienced the power of building a culture of L.A.F.F.S. I recently saw a rebroadcast of a part of the first ESPY awards ceremony in 1993, featuring a speech by Coach and Sports analyst Jimmy Valvano. It is a fitting way to conclude this article with an ESPN article that noted, “Sports is sports, until it isn’t. Sometimes sports become a moment in time that reaches far beyond the X’s and O’s. 1993. The first ESPYS. Coach Jim Valvano’s acceptance speech for the Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award was that kind of moment. He gave the world words that have transcended sports and still reverberate. “If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day.” The speech is his legacy — and ours. Those who remember it, who remember him, relive that moment, annotate his words, and remember where they were and when they heard. Coach Valvano’s words offer an enduring life lesson to guide any leader’s choice to build a culture of L.A.F.F.S. in the holidays and beyond.
The Leadership Questions for you then are
Will you implement some of the practices shared in your leadership?
Are L.A.F.F.S. considered in the organization you lead and serve?