January 29, 2026

“For the great enemy of truth is very often not the lie–deliberate, contrived, and dishonest–but the myth–persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Too often, we hold fast to the cliches of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations.

John F. Kennedy, 1963 Yale commencement address,

Last week’s Leadership Insight explored what it means for leaders to bring their best selves to those they lead and serve. Leaders who bring their best self to leadership have done the hard, inside-outside work of developing a core of clarity about values, understanding purpose, an aligned mindset, and a motivation of responsibility and service. Yet there is still a powerful force that will hold leaders back from being their best selves.

Leaders who act in line with these core beliefs must first confront the uncomfortable truth: the example of many leaders who chase a version of their “best self” that doesn’t actually exist and, in doing so, set themselves up for exhaustion, disconnection, and failure. These myths also set up their organizations to suffer from a lack of connection and engagement, and from a diminished ability to learn and adapt to rapidly changing circumstances.

In this week’s second article in a series on bringing your best self to leadership, we expose six myths surrounding the “best self” in leadership. These myths will be compared to the data-driven, research-based truths of effective leadership.

The typical response I often hear is that, in the rapidly evolving 21st-century workplace, we need a new theory of leadership. My answer is yes and no. Yes, we certainly need to rethink leadership capacities in the context of the time. No, we don’t need another theory; we need a new framework based on core beliefs and capacities that is adaptable to the current context. First, what is required is dismantling outdated myths and adopting a flexible, evidence-based framework. For decades, leadership development has been hindered by persistent misconceptions that stifle innovation and engagement. These myths are powerful hindrances to the truths of 21st-century leadership. John F Kennedy, in a 1963 Yale commencement address, explained the power of myth. “For the great enemy of truth is very often not the lie–deliberate, contrived, and dishonest–but the myth–persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Too often, we hold fast to the cliches of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. Mythology distracts us everywhere–in government as in business.”Myths are powerful in leadership because they are comfortable and seem secure. We see models of this l” eadersad “behavior every day,and it looks and seems to work . The truth is, they don’t. There are several examples of these myths in action on the news every night, which can upset sleep. I often coach clients not to watch the news before going to sleep. These myths hold sway because change is hard; they are comfortable, and in the past, they may have had some success. These myths can be tripwires for any leader striving to bring their best self to their leadership practice.

Myth #1: Leaders Are Born, Not Made

Truth: #1 Leadership is learned, practiced, and developed.

This myth says leadership is a gift: you either “have it” or you don’t. That belief quietly lets organizations off the hook for poor leadership (“we just don’t have the right people”) and causes emerging leaders to underestimate their own potential as well as undermining  learning.

The truth is that leadership is a set of behaviors that can be learned over time: clarifying values, building trust, inspiring a shared vision, enabling others to act, modeling the way, and encouraging the heart. No one is born knowing how to do these things. They are the product of intentional leadership development, with skills that are practiced, coached, and refined. The challenges of the 21st century demand leadership development at all levels. As John Quincy Adams said, “If your actions inspire others to be more, learn more, and become more, you are a leader. “This is seen in many organizations like the US Armed Forces, Cisco, Costco, and Boeing.

Key shift: From “I arrived  a leader?” to “How am I practicing leadership every day?“

Myth #2 Your Best Self Always Has All the Answers

Truth #2, Your best self doesn’t have all the answers, they ask better questions ,listen and empower their teams to find solutions together

This is one of the most persistent and destructive myths: that effective leaders must always know exactly what to do, all the time, in every situation. This belief is rooted in outdated, top-down, command-and-control images of leadership, where the person in charge is expected to be an all-knowing hero who never shows uncertainty. This is untenable today, according to Cognia, in an article entitled “Defining Success in the Digital Age ‘Today: practical knowledge exposure’ is accelerated by the internet and global data creation, which has been growing rapidly, with worldwide data volumes projected to roughly triple between 2025 and 2029.”

So while exact “doubling every X months” claims are hard to verify scientifically, the broad pattern is clear: knowledge now expands far more rapidly than at any previous time in history, and leaders operate in an environment where information volume and scientific output grow on the scale of years not generations.

In reality, leaders who embrace humility, Curiosity, and acknowledge what they don’t know create space for learning, collaboration, and innovation.

A Harvard Business School study found that teams under perfectionist leaders who project certainty share 42% fewer novel ideas and take 38% fewer creative risks.

Vulnerable leaders inspire with authenticity and humanity — and that’s what yields better results”.

Strategy+Business

Myth #3: Your best self denies vulnerability because it shows weakness.

Truth #3: Your best self as a leader uses vulnerability to build connection.

.Many leaders believe that showing vulnerability diminishes their authority. The “never let them see you sweat “mindset isolates leaders from their teams. According to the Aspen Institute, “executives, fearing criticism and exposure, work to perpetuate the illusion of infallibility  and perfectionism becomes a self-perpetuating prison”.

Authenticity builds relationships of connection and engagement, and it is earned through trusting relationships and psychological safety. Studies cited by the Marshall Goldsmith organization report that employees are 1.7x more likely to innovate when leaders admit mistakes and model growth.

Brené Brown’s research, highlighted in Dare to Lead, flips this myth on its head: vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the birthplace of trust and innovation. Leaders who admit mistakes, acknowledge limitations, and show their humanity don’t lose respect; they build deeper connections with their teams. As Strategy+Business notes, “Vulnerable leaders inspire with authenticity and humanity — and that’s what yields better results”.

Younger generations, who are now  over 50% of the workforce, desire  communication that first shares hard realities of situations, then the plan moving forward

.Dr. Tim Elmore, The Future Begins with Z

Myth #4: Your Best Self Is Always Positive, even when the situation is dire .

Truth #4 Your Best Self isn’t relentlessly cheerful. It’s honest, even when the truth is hard.

There’s a dangerous belief that great leaders must project constant optimism, even when circumstances are dire. This is what organizational psychologists call toxic positivity, a systematic approach that prioritizes maintaining a positive façade over confronting uncomfortable truths.In my years as a supervisor and clinical diagnostician on a chemical dependency unit we termed this approach as denial or progressively as delusion. Followers are always watching and quickly pick up this practice of “rose colored glasses,” often voting with their feet.

Research shows that when employees see leaders openly share real challenges, they are about 10 times more likely to stay with the organization. Forced positivity doesn’t inspire optimism; it breeds anxiety and distrust. As Forbes contributor Tracy Lawrence writes, “Toxic positivity leads to a long-term weakening of the organization’s resilience” because critical information never reaches decision-makers. Dr. Tim Elmore in The Future Begins with Z writes that, in his research, especially among younger generations, there is a desire for communication that first shares the hard realities of situations, then the plan moving forward.

.Myth #5: Being your Best self means  neglecting yourself

Truth #5 Your best self isn’t selfless to the point of depletion. Your best self provides a   model of sustainable

Servant leadership is powerful, but many leaders interpret it as a mandate to sacrifice their own well-being indefinitely. The result? Burnout, which, according to Psychology Today, is often a systems signal, not a personal failure.

Ironically, the leaders who burn out first are often the most conscientious, those carrying invisible emotional labor alongside strategic responsibility. Managers who prioritize self-care are better equipped to model healthy boundaries and lead with clarity and resilience. As Korn Ferry research notes, when leaders model boundary-setting transparently, it empowers their teams to do the same.

Those you lead don’t want their leader to be a perfect superhero,they want their leader to be, just like them, human

Myth #6: Your Best Self Means Being Superhuman

Truth # 6 Your best Self means being Human

This myth claims that true leaders are infallible, tireless, and possess extraordinary qualities beyond those of ordinary people. It paints leaders as omniscient heroes who must shoulder all responsibility alone.

The reality is that perfectionist leadership creates performance pressure that stifles followers’ positive behavior and performance. Research from Frontiers in Psychology shows that while perfectionist leaders may inspire effort, they simultaneously create anxiety and pressure among those they lead, affect their own health, and undermine adaptability. Those you lead don’t want their leader to be a perfect superhero; they want their leader to be human, just like them.

A leader’s attempts to be superhuman deplete their energy and drain others. Growth, not perfection, is the true measure of leadership success. Delegation and coaching are great ways to lower stress and develop new leaders.

The leader who chooses to swap these myths for truths will bring their Real Best Self to the leadership practice. One’s best self as a leader isn’t a polished, perfect, always-positive version of you. It’s the grounded, self-aware leader who asks questions instead of faking certainty and shows vulnerability to build trust.

They share challenges honestly rather than spinning positivity and protect their well-being so they can sustain service to others. The leader bringing their best self embraces growth over the illusion of perfection. A recent Psychology Today article reminds us that the shift from proving to improving changes everything: “Curiosity replaces defensiveness. Conversations become more honest. Decisions become more adaptive.”

Next week’s edition of this series on bringing your best self as a leader will move from myths to models. exploring leaders who have successfully brought their best selves to their organizations and the transformational results that followed.

The Leadership Questions for you then are  ;

1.   Which myth has been holding you back from being the best self in your leadership practice?

2.   What are two actions you could choose to address that myth and its effect on your leadership practice?