August 7, 2025

Who was your favorite leader to work with? Was it a teacher, a coach, a pastor, or maybe a supervisor at work? When I ask this in my leadership seminars, the answers are rarely about technical excellence or expertise. Instead, people respond: “They really cared about me.” “They made me feel like a valuable part of the team.” “They genuinely connected with me.” It’s telling that traits like empathy, authenticity, and connection stand out far more than subject-matter mastery. Interestingly, I rarely heard “They were easy on me,” but more often, the admiration comes from high expectations paired with high support, a concept David Yeager highlights in his book 10 to 25 as the Mentor.

Mindset. John Maxwell, the leading expert in the world of leadership development, calls these people “connectors.” They bridge the gap between leading and truly valuing those they serve. These leaders choose to build people up and get things done.

As Maxwell often says, “Leaders are people of value who add value to people.” Exceptional leaders are remembered not first for their high performance or sharp intellect, but for their ability to connect on a human level.

“The most effective leaders are alike in one crucial way: They all have a high degree of emotional intelligence.”

Daniel Goleman

What is behind this ability? Countless studies and research point to the same quality: emotional intelligence (EQ). Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in this field, and researchers and practitioners like Travis Bradberry and Jean Greavesof TalentSmartEQ, have demonstrated that emotional intelligence isn’t just a “nice-to-have” trait; it’s a leadership capacity. In fact, research from places like Gallup and McKinsey supports that leaders with high EQ foster teams that are more engaged, resilient, and productive.

Bradberry and Greaves, authors of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and Leadership 2.0, break EQ down into four central, learnable skills:

1. Self-Awareness
2. Self-Management
3. Social Awareness
4. Relationship Management

While traditional leadership development has focused heavily on skills and strategies, today’s most effective leaders understand the need to build and refine emotional intelligence. In fact, Gallup finds that teams with emotionally intelligent leaders see much higher levels of engagement, meaning people genuinely care about their work and each other, and add additional effort to their work. McKinsey’s research further highlights that organizations led by self-aware leaders consistently outperform those that aren’t.

This Thursday’s leadership insight is the first article of a four-part series examining the four components of emotional intelligence. This article will focus on self-awareness as the foundation of emotional intelligence. Seven questions will be shared to help leaders assess their level of self-awareness. Additionally, five strategies will be outlined to develop or enhance self-awareness as a leader, along with five benefits of developing self-awareness in one’s leadership practice.

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Are You a Self-Aware Leader? Seven Key Questions

Self-awareness is the ability to accurately perceive your own emotions, understand your tendencies, and recognize how your behavior impacts those around you. According to Daniel Goleman, self-awareness is often the most vital EQ skill because it informs and strengthens the others.

Ask yourself or invite honest feedback from your team on these seven questions:

1. Do I understand my emotional triggers in leadership situations?
2. How do I respond to constructive criticism and feedback?
3. Am I aware of my strengths and my blind spots?
4. When I make a mistake, do I acknowledge it openly and learn from it?
5. How do I handle stress or disappointment?
6. Am I attuned to how my mood or energy affects my team?
7. Do people feel safe sharing feedback or differing opinions with me?

Reflect on these. Your answers are windows into your self-awareness.

Five Strategies to Grow Your Self-Awareness as a Leader

1. Solicit Regular Feedback: Invite input from your colleagues and those you lead. Gallup’s research shows that leaders who routinely seek feedback foster trust and create psychologically safe work environments.
2. Practice Mindful Reflection: Take time daily or weekly to reflect on your interactions, decisions, and emotional responses.
3. Adopt a Learning Mindset: Don’t just accept feedback, look for patterns, themes, and areas where you can grow. Daniel Goleman calls this “intentional learning.”
4. Use Assessment Tools: Tools like TalentSmart’s Emotional Intelligence and StrengthsFinder, as well as The Maxwell Method of DISC and 360 assessments, offer objective insights and starting points for development and chronicling progress.
5. Journal Your Leadership Journey: Regularly documenting your challenges and progress heightens self-understanding, encourages growth, and retention of learnings.

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Five Benefits of Becoming a More Self-Aware Leader

1. Stronger Relationships: Self-aware leaders have deeper connections with those they lead. John Maxwell’s work underscores that trust and credibility flourish when leaders “walk their talk.”
2. Better Decision-Making: Awareness of biases and emotions allows for clearer, more objective decisions that are key in fast-paced environments.
3. Greater Resilience: McKinsey’s studies note that self-aware leaders bounce back from setbacks and adapt more skillfully.
4. Higher Engagement: Gallup reports that teams led by self-aware managers are over 20% more engaged and productive.
5. Personal Fulfillment: Self-aware leadership isn’t just better for the organization—it’s more sustainable, joyful, and authentic for the leader.

Self-aware Leadership in Practice

Consider a leader—maybe a school principal—who, after hearing about low staff morale, invites honest feedback and learns her communication style is perceived as distant. Rather than getting defensive, the principal listens, adapts, and becomes more accessible. Over time, trust grows, and the school staff’s engagement and outcomes rise, echoing the findings of both Gallup and McKinsey.

Self-awareness is the bedrock of emotional intelligence and effective leadership. As John Maxwell, Daniel Goleman, Travis Bradberry, and Jeane Greaves advise, this is a continuous journey. With intention and practice, every leader can build their self-awareness, and in turn, elevate both themselves and those they serve.

The leadership questions for you then are

1. Are you a self-aware leader/
2. What strategies can you apply to enhance and develop as a self-aware leader?

Next Week, we will explore the next component of emotional intelligence, self-management, and how it empowers leaders to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.