May 8, 2025
In leadership, effective communication is the #1 concern of followers in any organization. In all communication, people want to be not heard but listened to, and powerful questions provide the possibility of significant and expanding learning. What really “Seals the Deal “is a skill leaders can develop that is difficult to learn, practice, and apply. That leadership communication skill is to pause and use silence. Ryan Leak in How to Work With Complicated People writes that “this practice requires really slowing down and really listening (present ), neither of which is a Ryan Leak default setting. I had to teach myself to pause; I had to learn the art of pausing long enough to consider someone else’s feelings to gain insight into people.”

The ability to pause to use intentional silence can be transformative. This third pillar of effective communication is difficult to learn and practice as it contradicts many leaders’ conceptions of themselves as actors, doers, and quick problem solvers. Interestingly, most leaders can look at most of their biggest mistakes as being due to going too fast. Leaders can be hurrying and think that activity replaces accomplishment. The absolute truth is what legendary Basketball Coach John Wooden often told his teams at U.C.L.A.: “You have to go slow to go fast.” The P.A.U.S.E. model offers a practical framework for leaders to learn to be silent, slow down, reflect, and respond thoughtfully, making communication more effective and impactful.

This Thursday’s leadership insight discusses the third pillar of effective leadership communication: P.A.U.S.E to reflect and then respond. This may be the most difficult pillar to learn and practice because it contradicts many thoughts about who leaders are and what leaders do in communication. The P.A.U.S.E. model will be shared along with three hacks, seven strategies to aid a leader, and five benefits of practicing and applying P.A.U.S.E.

In leadership, effective communication is the #1 concern of followers in any organization. In all communication, people want to be not heard but listened to, and powerful questions provide the possibility of significant and expanding learning. What really “Seals the Deal “is a skill leaders can develop that is difficult to learn, practice, and apply. That leadership communication skill is to pause and use silence. Ryan Leak in How to Work With Complicated People writes that “this practice requires really slowing down and really listening (present ), neither of which is a Ryan Leak default setting. I had to teach myself to pause; I had to learn the art of pausing long enough to consider someone else’s feelings to gain insight into people.”

The ability to pause to use intentional silence can be transformative. This third pillar of effective communication is difficult to learn and practice as it contradicts many leaders’ conceptions of themselves as actors, doers, and quick problem solvers. Interestingly, most leaders can look at most of their biggest mistakes being due to going too fast. Leaders can be hurrying and think that activity replaces accomplishment. The absolute truth is what legendary Basketball Coach John Wooden often told his teams at U.C.L.A.: “You have to go slow to go fast.” The P.A.U.S.E. model offers a practical framework for leaders to learn to be silent, slow down, reflect, and respond thoughtfully, making communication more effective and impactful.

This Thursday’s leadership insight discusses the third pillar of effective leadership communication: P.A.U.S.E to reflect and then respond. This may be the most difficult pillar to learn and practice because it contradicts many thoughts about who leaders are and what leaders do in communication. The P.A.U.S.E. model will be shared along with three hacks, seven strategies to aid a leader, and five benefits of practicing and applying P.A.U.S.E.

I had to teach myself to pause; I had to learn the art of pausing long enough to consider someone else’s feelings to gain insight into people.”

Ryan Leak How to Work With Complicated People

Defining P.A.U.S.E.

P: Patient and Persistent. Great leaders resist the urge to rush. They patiently allow conversations to unfold, persisting through discomfort to foster genuine understanding
A: Authenticity builds trust. Leaders who pause are more likely to communicate honestly and transparently, aligning words with actions and showing vulnerability when needed.
U: Use of Silence Strategic silence is a powerful tool. Well-timed pauses emphasize key points, invite reflection, and demonstrate respect for others’ input.
S: Silence. Silence isn’t an awkward emptiness. It’s space for deeper listening and processing. It encourages others to contribute and allows emotions to settle, especially in tense moments
E: Empathically and Encouragingly Pausing with empathy shows you value others’ perspectives. Encouraging silence gives people the confidence to share openly, fostering connection and psychological safety.

· “Authentic connection comes from listening deeply and responding with intention, not haste.”

· John Maxwell Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

Seven Ways Leaders Can Use P.A.U.S.E. to Enhance Communication and Connection

1. Create Space for Thoughtful Responses Pausing allows everyone time to process and reflect, leading to more considered and meaningful answers.
2. Demonstrate Respect and Active Listening Silence signals that you value others’ contributions and are truly listening, not just waiting to speak.
3. Defuse Tension and Manage Conflict In challenging conversations, a pause helps regulate emotions and prevents reactive responses, creating room for understanding and resolution.
4. Encourage Participation and Innovation When leaders pause after asking questions, it invites team members to think deeply and share ideas, leading to more creative solutions.
5. Emphasize Key Messages Strategic pauses highlight important points, making messages more memorable and impactful.
6. Model Self-Control and Emotional Intelligence By pausing, leaders show self-awareness and composure, setting a calm tone for the team.
7. Build Trust and Authentic Connection Consistent use of pause fosters a culture of openness, trust, and genuine engagement.

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Here are three hacks to help use the P.A.U.S.E. model

1. Body Language. International Coach and trainer Nickki Keohohou teaches how to use one’s body as a reminder to pause. For example, she brings a finger to her lips when using P.A.U.S.E. to remind herself to be quiet.
2. Eye Contact. Our eyes are a massive clue to our level of caring and connection. Match eye contact appropriately with the emotion of the situation and avoid disruptions as much as possible.
3. Breathing. Monitoring breathing helps set the pace and understand the state of the other person and yours. “Pausing helps leaders see challenging individuals as people to understand, not problems to solve, leading to better collaboration.”

Ryan Leak How to Work With Complicated People

Five Benefits of Using P.A.U.S.E.

1. Improved Decision-Making: Thoughtful pauses lead to better, more informed choices
2. Stronger Relationships: Silence and reflection build trust, empathy, and genuine connection
3. Greater Team Engagement: Pausing encourages everyone to contribute, fostering inclusion and innovation.
4. Reduced Conflict: Reflective pauses help manage emotions and resolve disagreements constructively.
5. Enhanced Organizational Culture: Teams that practice P.A.U.S.E. develop resilience, adaptability, and continuous improvement.

Silence isn’t a void between witty answers or an awkward moment. Strategic, intentional use of silence is a leader’s most powerful tool for reflection, response, connection, and lasting impact. By embracing, practicing, and applying P.A.U.S.E., leaders can transform not just their communication but their entire organization’s communication, connection, engagement, and learning.

The Leadership question for you is

Will you choose to pursue a position at P.A.U.S.E. to build bridges of effective communication with those you serve and lead?